Well, mum of two, you’ve made it this far!

toddler and baby sleeping on a bed

I am sure I am not the first women to say this but… where did the time go. I became a mum of two over three months ago and I cannot remember how I got to this point!

Above you see both my boys doing what both my boys love to do best. iPads and naps – that basically sums up how we have made it this far.

Our Days

Our days are still a fast packed rollercoaster where the weeks fly by so fast I have no idea what the day is.

I still don’t know how I have done it.

I have kept them both alive

baby asleep after breastfeeding

I am still breastfeeding Marlow, and although some days I have the inclination that I might like to stop or combi feed, what usually happens is another week goes by and realise I have still forgotten to sterilise the bottles.

We all seem to wear clean clothes.

And I seem to manage to cook hot meals and assemble lunches most days.

The house isn’t ‘Ali’ clean but its clean, I keep it going.

I keep going.

Its not been without its highs and lows so far. So I thought I would try and think of the highs, the lows, and the things I wish I had done a little differently.

Highlights

  1. Love multiplies it doesn’t divide. Oh my gosh does love just come with more abundance. Everyone told me it would, but of course you can’t imagine having the capacity to love another more than you love your first child. I am starry eyed over my newest arrival Marlow, while also still being head over heels with my big boy baby number one.
  2. Sibling love is blossoming in its own sweet time. I leave them to it mostly. I barely mention Marlow to Otis unless he shows an interest, but these last few weeks I see it all coming together.
  3. Enjoying all the stages even more! It is so wonderful to know each stage is a phase, and the bad bits end. And it is also incredible to know that the good bits end too, because I lap them up; the tiny newborn days, the sleeping in my arms days, the crying in my ears days. I am loving them all so much more the second time around.

siblings holding hands

And the Lows

  1. Feeling bleak, is not something I wanted to come back to. But there have been days when the tank has been empty, the hormones have come knocking, and I have cried when I probably should have dusted myself off. For me its not the kids that wear me down but my own internal voice, and the mild anxiety of constantly telling myself I’ve not done enough. I’m still working on that. Watch this space.
  2. Losing more of myself, who knew becoming a mum of two and looking after another child meant I had twice as less time to spend on myself? Basically I have to resign myself to 1 hour in the afternoon and 1 hour on the sofa a day. Thats my me time. Its mega precious. And I live for it.
  3. I barely see my husband, it kind of links with the above, but for weeks now I have barely seen my husband, when he is around, he take over the reigns with our toddler Otis and I get five minutes peace to soak in our baby Marlow. But as we all know – its just a phase.

little boy eating chocolate cake

In Hindsight

  1. I wish we had arranged more child care for Otis our eldest for the first few weeks. Just a few more sleep overs, and a few more days just with Marlow to soak him in as much as possible. I so wanted to have them both with me so I could really be a mum of two, forgetting that that will be forever, and the early newborn days are so fleeting.
  2. Home birthing is something that would have been a great choice for us. I know that with the low Papp A and low birth weight I might have ended up in hospital anyway, but I so wish I had just had him at home.
  3. More tele, less guilt! Why couldn’t I see that a few weeks or even months of tele for me and Otis wouldn’t have been the end of the world. I tried so hard each day to in rich his life, but I’m sure a few extra hours of tele wouldn’t have killed him. We live and learn don’t wehome with the Buckleys mummy and baby

So if you re about to become a mum of two, remember more tele is fine, soak up every moment.

Also stay at home in your pj’s all day if you want to. They don’t care – they love you anyway.

 

I don’t find this easy to write, I don’t like to talk about it. I feel stupid, foolish and very vulnerable to admit it. But I suffer from chronic mild anxiety.

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After the success of first Secrets from a sleep consultant post a few weeks ago, Lucy has kindly written us another insightful blog on the subject of How to sleep train a baby with a toddler in the house

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Since becoming a mum of two the question I have been asked the most in the past five weeks is how is your toddler coping with your newborn?

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I have the pleasure of introducing a very special guest blog from Lucy Barker the Infant & Child Sleep Consultant at Zoë Clews & Associates who are a team of hypnotherapists and experts offering advice and treatment from sleep training to hypnobirth, based in Harley Street London

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