I shared something very personal with my readers and Instagram followers on my The 1 in 4 club – Pregnancy loss blog post. I shared something that possibly many family members and friends didn’t even know. I told the online world that at the end of February 2018 I suffered a missed miscarriage.View Post
What is an instamum? And why are they always taking photos of sleeping babies?View Post
It’s started. The terrible twos. Well the almost twos.
‘Oh sorry – was I just randomly touching your stomach and rubbing it – is that not OK?’ Lets talk about pregnancy Etiquette.
What is with the touching?
This is my second child. I have been here before. This is not my first rodeo. But still it confuses me how a complete stranger or mild acquaintances think its OK to make almost literal skin to skin contact on what to me feels like a rather intimate part of my body. Its basic pregnancy etiquette isn’t it?
I’m not a prude, human contact doesn’t freak me out. But centimeters away from those grabby hands are parts of my body that really only my midwife and husband should be going near.
Is it because I’m British?
Is it because I’m British? I don’t mean the prudish nature, I mean my inability to say no! No sorry you can’t touch me there – ‘oh you didn’t even ask? – but you are doing it anyway’ – great.
Why don’t I move out the way? I’m too nice (too British)
‘Yea go ahead, grope me! would you like milk in your tea vicar?’ (Note – no actual vicars have groped me)
Pregnancy etiquette might just be posh talk for what I suspect are some deep down primeval reactions. When someone invades our personal space we have a fight or flight reaction. However deep down it may be. But with pregnancy our hormones heighten everything. Probably to keep us safe, they make us vulnerable so our tribe protects us.
Except now my tribe is just made up of my husband who doesn’t seem to notice my squirming insides as the fingers and palms descend on my bump.
Together I think we need to educate a few people on some pregnancy etiquette, perhaps we need to do this through propaganda and Chinese whispers. However we do it, can we please all just remember these simple rules
4 Things To Avoid – Pregnancy Etiquette
- Don’t touch – especially without permission. And if and when you do, try and keep that hand above the belly button yea!
- Gender! Don’s assume women only want girls and men only want boys.
- Names names names – everyone has an opinion. But try not to ruin it for people. Perhaps don’t offer up negative name associations when the happy parent has just told you they love the name ‘Donald’ ! (note – this isn’t one of the names we have on our list)
- Size doesn’t matter – Lets not comment on every ones size all the time. Especially if you are a man! Sorry to get gender specific on this one, but coming from a fellow mumma its not so bad, we are sort of comparing notes. But men, you don’t get to chime in. Unless you want the same comments back?