Looking back at pregnancy and the DIY chaos
I like looking back but it can be tough too. It was a relentless time in our lives and at times I guess I didn’t get to ‘enjoy’ my pregnancy as much as I could of done. I tried to stay healthy, and level headed among the chaos that we lived in, but most days i truly was just putting one foot in front of the other. Getting up at 6am each day, and passing out at 10pm everyday on the sofa. I would go to work from 8am until 5:30pm, come home and try to eat a nourishing meal for my body and my baby, all before getting the paint brushes and masking tape out. I couldn’t self medicate with a cheeky glass of wine now and again, and even my favorite foods made me want to throw up. The smell of the paint was so strong because of the pregnancy hormones and most days it was all I could do to not throw up in a pot of my beloved Farrow & Ball Skimming Stone. But still we soldiered on. Still we painted, and sanded and stripped off paint. We were living for the weekends but these days it was for a whole different reason! Life had already changed for good, even before the birth of our son.
We were trying to cram so much life in before the baby came that I don’t think I would remember unless I had taken photos. 2016 was such a blur and none more than the summer. We were balancing weekends away, day trips and DIY at number 12 while trying to work full time. It was hard, I’m not going to lie. I am a positive thinker and generally full of energy, but we were burning the candle at both ends and popping a blow torch on it too for good measure.
Since returning from two weeks in Ibiza we had; visited the Shard, spent 4 days in the south of France, got the builders to quote for the kitchen, painted the hallway from top to bottom, all the wood work and more, and ripped out all the carpets. The skip was on the driveway, the wood was bloody everywhere and we were still trying to grow the baby and work full time. But we were on the roller-coaster and we couldn’t get off. We just kept pushing forward. It wouldn’t be my recommendation to renovate a whole house and go on 3 holidays the year you are pregnant. But alas it was what we did. You would also be forgiven for assuming we were somehow made of money? We were not, the savings were dwindling and the to do list was growing, but we were in too deep and we just kept going.
Some days I worried, I worried that it wouldn’t get finished, I worried it would cost more money, I fretted about buying more paint or another trip to Homebase. I resented the holidays, I even felt ashamed that I resented the holidays. Because how dare I feel resentment for being lucky enough to have the opportunity to go on these holidays. I experienced guilt for pushing myself so hard! I was frustrated and fatigued. And still we carried on.
And guess what. We didn’t get it all finished, the builders didn’t turn up on time, we didn’t have enough money. The holidays happened and they were lovely, they were perfect and I enjoyed myself. Everyone told me I would appreciate them and I did, I do! I appreciate that we spent that time away last year, the time before the baby. I’m glad we pushed on and spent the money to try and get it right. To try and get it finished. I don’t care if it wasn’t but we gave it a damn good go and ultimately I’m proud of us. I’m proud of what we achieved.
Would I do it again? Now that’s another question?