But Where To Begin
I wanted to write the perfect first blog post – although I have come to the conclusion that this will not be perfect. But I need to start somewhere.
I wanted to start somewhere near the beginning, because I have an overwhelming need to start new projects at the beginning. But, since the moment we decided to expand our family of two humans (one cat and some chickens) into three humans (one cat and currently one chicken), since that moment, i’m not sure where the beginning began.
I was going to blog about the drunken Friday night conversation with my husband where we had the epiphany. An epiphany that a child was exactly what we wanted, what we needed and that everything else had just become noise. Or the moment I nonchalantly peed on a stick, that ideal shattering and underwhelming moment that was nothing as I had imagined it.
I could of blogged about the beginning of pregnancy, about the first trimester and how lost I felt, about limbo land where nobody knows and you spend your day in a weird dream like state of exhaustion and elation and fear. Where all you want to do is speak to the world about this but the norm is to not tell a soul until your pregnancy is considered ‘viable’.
I could tell you about moving into our run down home weeks before falling pregnant – Our home we love so much and that our world revolves around. The DIY, the parties, the little corners where we light a candle, add a lamp and a rug and look at each other with pride. The reluctant gardeners, the home makers, the paint everything grey, 3 for 2 on Dulux, Farrow & Ball addicts – I have so much I want to write about.
I want to write about being a mother, being a wife, a women, a human.
I want to write.
And I will – I will. I must. For I have wanted to do this far longer than I have been a mother. My blog will evolve and become and I need to let that happen, I can’t think about it any more. I cant be scared of getting it wrong. I read so many blogs on how to write blogs, they all tell you to keep ‘on brand’ to pick your audience, to write content people want to hear about. And I get that, I really do, but like I mentioned before, I need to start at the beginning, I need to start here.
And so it begins